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This has got to
be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy
should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination
without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay,
we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack
it up, just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
store
you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too STUPID to own a
computer!!!!!'
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